The Sixty clichés of San
Andreas.
And still it’s a fun ride.
Sometimes clichés aren't that
bad.
Take San Andreas for instance.
It is a summer blockbuster and it delivers
whilst taking every single cliché in its stride.
Tvtropes is going to have a
field day with this one.
Here's just a fun list from the top of my mind
(I basically
stopped at fifty – a nice round number,
then I remembered ten more).
Obviously a few spoilers below.
1.
Blatantly ripping of famous scenes from other movies –
check.[1]
2.
Massive destruction - check.
3.
Famous landmarks go - check.
4.
If you show San Francisco show that one tram line, Chinatown,
golden gate and Alcatraz - check.
5.
Rescue workers being stupid - check.
6.
Throw one “G-dammit” in there and never use the word
again – check.
7.
Hero does something ridiculously unsafe to show his
manliness –check.
8.
Hero is former military – check.
9.
Macho hero man/ born leader - check.
10.
Hero lost a loved one - check.
11.
Hero is estranged from wife/girlfriend. – check.
12.
Hero and wife/girlfriend come back together again. –
check.
13.
Hero goes on rescue mission - check.
14.
Hero goes against orders from command - check.
15.
Daddy issues[2] - check.
16.
Who sponsored this movie again? – check.
17.
Everybody dies except the hero(es) - check.
18.
Everybody dies without splattering blood around -
check.
19.
Stop the car just in time – check.
20.
Every mode of transport is used - (almost) check.
21.
Hero survives impossible challenges aka weird sh*t
happens on the way- check.
22.
Old tech works better than new tech - (double) check.
23.
All electronic devices and landlines that have to work
for the plot still work – check.
24.
Everybody knows how to hotwire a car - check.[3]
25.
At least one gun - check.
26.
Smart scientist guy - check.
27.
Nobody listens to the smart scientist guy - check[4]
28.
Only smart scientist guy knows what is going
on, the rest of the country doesn’t have smart scientists.
29.
Non-white people die first - check. (okay maybe this
one isn't so okay.)
30.
If you're black you need saving - check (again...)
31.
If you're a sweet kid you need saving - check.[5]
32.
Once kid is saved "worst mother in the world
award comes to collect him/her" - check.
33.
Smart-ass kid - check.[6]
34.
Teen/young adult love story - check.
35.
A kiss being spied upon. – check.
36.
Kissing at that one moment when there really isn't
time - check.
37.
Smart, tough girl who still needs saving - check.
38.
Obligatory person from abroad - (triple) check.
39.
Super hacker available - check.
40.
Non-hero partner does something brave - check.
41.
Elderly people hug before disaster strikes - check.
42.
No fat person in sight - check.
43.
Hero picks up and saves the skinniest person he can
find - check.
44.
Person gets a flesh wound - check.
45.
But the handicap is on and off - check.
46.
Treating a cut by putting a bandage over the clothing
- check.
47.
A smart idea is actually rather stupid – check.
48.
Every single item found earlier is used later – check.
49.
Fail finding the one(s) you are looking for until the
last minute – check.
50.
Celebrity cameo you didn't realize until the credits -
check.
51.
"Let's get out of here." -triple check.
52.
"Don't leave me." - check.
53.
Somebody sacrifices him/herself. –check.
54.
Give up on heart-massage...still try again and
suddenly success - check.
55.
Never get the water out of the lungs first before
mouth-to-mouth –check.
56.
Nasty self-serving villain – (slight) check[7]
57.
Villain dies spectacularly in a “oh darn” manner –
check.
58.
American flag waving in the end - check.
59.
American optimism - check.
60.
Final landmark view of the aftermath - check.
And somehow I still liked the
movie. True, some of the clichés were a bit much for my taste. But hey, it's a
popcorn ride. It delivers everything that you know and hardly does anything new.[8]
The movie doesn't want you to
be too smart, but doesn't truly expect you to be too dumb as well (they don't
even explain what a tectonic plate is). So basically this movies ‘feels’ like
it knows it’s nothing groundbreaking (hah!) special but is also honest about it
to the audience.
Just leave your brain at the
door and have fun. Although it is a bit concerning that nowadays fun has to
come from a movie that basically kills millions...oh well, it can't be E.T. all
the time right.
And darn that old tower -in the
end- was still standing...
[1] When I saw
the opening I was convinced that I was watching Titanic again.
[2] Well Carlton Cuse wrote this so what did you expect.
[3] I don’t.
[4] The movie mentions
it at least, maybe it was in an earlier draft of the script?
[5] I'm talking about
the little girl at the beginning.
[6] And he isn't even
truly annoying. He got more lines than he has in Game of Thrones anyway.
[7] I could
understand his panicked reasoning until he threw that guy to his death.
[8] Which is of course
the main critique like -for instance- the current focus on racial and gender
equality.
