Mixed tape movies: It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas

In the eighties it was the-thing-to-do to make a mixed tape (like an mp3 but touchable, always in need of a pencil and definitely cooler). On it you would make a little playlist of all the cool songs. Now the trick was to make each song correspond with the rest of the tape. In this post I will try to do the same with movies.

Every once in a while I will select a general topic and select movies to accompany it. As you can see the more child-friendly movies are at the start of the day, but  when night falls: ‘here be monsters’. Please feel free to give suggestions of other unknown movies.

One rule though: Auteur themes like ‘Shakespeare’ or ‘James Bond’ are not allowed. ‘Spy-movies’, naturally, are.

Theme: Christmas movies.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And I’m in the mood for chestnuts roating and singing carols. I don’t know; I just love the people being nice to each other. The news handing out the world’s problems halfheartedly as they really want to be home with their families. Those old’ time movies on the telly. And, above all, all those long lines of silly people in the shopping mall on Chrstimas eve.

So here I wish to take a look at my favorite Christmas movies. These are the ones I like and will watch over and over each year ‘round. :

08:00-10:00         

Mickey's Christmas Carol: The classic that is actually rather hard to find on any television channel. I don’t know why -it's on youtube at least. It’s the ultimate classic. Simply Goofy as Jacob Marley is enough to bring a smile on my face. And Donald Duck, I love Donald Duck!

10:00-12:00 

Ernest saves Christmas: Not the best Ernest movie out there but a fun one nevertheless. I absolutely adore the final gag with the Easter Bunny. At least it’s an adoring little movie with enough jokes for the family to giggle about.

12:00-14:00        

A Christmas Carol: Dancing around on a coffin, brilliant! Albert Finney is great as the vile scrooge (on par with Michael Caine in the Muppet’s version. But Caine can’t sing). This, to me, is the ultimate version. It has song, dance and a good heart.

          

14:00-16:00 

Santa Clause the movie: Not the best movie ever, I admit. But the message of love and friendship and the great portrayal of the Santa Clause legend is great. Plus it has John Litgow being the villain. That’s always awesome!

16:00-17:00         

It's a wonderful life: The ultimate classic. This movie should be repeated well into the future. Yes it’s a bit outdated nowadays. And, yes, the ending is cringe worthy in its sugarcoated-ness.  But this still remains the best Christmas-movie ever even though it includes a suicide attempt. Each time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.

17:00-19:00         

Little lord Fauntelroy: The German classic! Each year ‘ze Germans’ will broadcast this movie (and Dinner for one). It’s tradition. And why not? Little lord Fauntleroy is a sweet movie about a charming boy melting his grandfather’s cold heart. ‘Oh, them golden slippers’.

19:00-21:00

The nightmare before Christmas: Now we are slightly going into darker territory. Christmas is fun and all. But like any Christmas dinner there is only that much of polite conversation you can have with your in-laws that you can muster.

I love stop motion animation and a good song. This movie has both with some dark humor to boot.

21:00-23:00

The Ref: Now we are going dark. The Christmas-message of love and understanding remains the same but it is coated –in this movie- in some of the best hurtful one-liners ever: 

“Your husband ain’t dead! He’s hiding!”

Or

“You know what I’ll get you this Christmas? A big wooden cross. So that every time you feel unappreciated you can climb on it and nail yourself to it!”.

A burglar takes a quarrelling couple hostage. Fireworks, especially when fast-mouthed Denis Leary is present.

           

23:00-01:00         

Whisper: Into Horror we go; Around Christmastime four criminals kidnap a young boy, Alas, they soon find out that this isn’t some ordinary boy – he’s a devil. Fun for the whole family, Christmas is here!

01:00-03:00

Krampus: I love how Michael Dougherty is making movies about each of the American Holidays. Trick-r-Treat was brilliant. Krampus is almost as good. Without going into bloodshed like, for instance, Santa Slay, it tells a nice creepy story with a brilliant ending that should be repeated over and over again.

Honorable mentions: 

Home Alone: I hate the Home Alone-movies with a vengeance. The kid is a freaking psycho. And what is the Christmas message in a movie that deals with a kid torturing criminals? If this is your cup of tea I suggest you watch The agression scale.

The miracle on 34^th street: A sweet movie (all versions) but a bit too sweet for my taste. I caught these movies when I was too old to care about the Christmas spirit (puberty). So it’s out of this list.

Stealing Christmas: Fun, charming, old fashioned. Exactly how a Christmas movie should be - and therefore not quite original enough.

Rare Exports: Fun movie - but since Krampus also included the elements of awkward family gatherings and shopping stress I chose the latter. I'll definitely include Rare Exports in a list about mythological-creatures-that-aren't-monsters-per-se.

Die Hard: A Christmas movie, but –I think we can all agree- better suited in another topic.

Kubo and the two strings – a review

The blank version is HERE

Young Kubo lives with his ailing mother in a cave on the edge of town. Every day he goes to the market square to play his magical guitar for the townsfolk; telling origami stories of the fabled knight Hanzo and the moon daughter. But Kubo must always be back inside the cave before night falls. When, one day, he stays out as the moon rises, his adventure begins.

Two matters: First, and foremost, I'm biased. I'm a heavy Laika-junky. I love all stop-motion animation from the earliest experiments way-way back in the nineteen-tens to the present. I'm just one of those happy nerds. So keep in mind that this review is going to be biased. That's all I'm saying.

Second; what’s under the eye-patch? I’m sorry. After the Walking Dead and growing up with the Goonies’ ‘one eyed Willy’ (who came up with that name?) I just want to know!

But then you remember; it’s a children’s movie! Kubo is even more akin to a fairytale or a legend. And like any original fairytale: it can be dark, dangerous and bloody. But the eye-patch stays on!

STORY

So, to start with my review; let's tackle the weakest bit first: the story! Basically, Kubo is set on a quest to find three MacGuffins. Like Indiana Jones, except this time the story has creepy sisters chasing instead of Nazis. It’s the most basic of stories, but is does allow several grandiose set pieces. Even though, at the end of the day, they feel forced (like the sudden, out of the blue, appearance of characters).

But overall the story works. By the end all the loose strands are tied together and every shaky bolt secured.

This does, however, sometimes resort in seeing plot twists coming for miles but that’s perfectly okay if that is what the story needs to move to the finale. But, overall, I must conclude that the story isn't much. There was far more to be had from this.

I wouldn’t even call it a twist to be honest. Rather an, for want of a better word, Aha-Erlebnis. 

What the story does very well though, is throwing enough mystery and magical mumbo-jumbo in that it glides over the various inconsistencies. If you think about certain events logically you’ll find out that a lot of stuff isn’t possible. But thanks to the handy cat phrases ‘magic’ and ‘fairytale’ you don’t have to mind them. It’s not a leave your brain at the door-movie, it’s a it’s possible because of magic-movie.

VOICE-ACTING

The acting is good. Matthew McConaughey and Charlize Theron are having quite some fun as Beetle and Monkey respectively. Art Parkinson, however, I’m not too sure about.

So here we have an Irish kid taking on an American accent to play a Japanese character?

There are moments (during the storytelling scene) where his voice shines through the screen. And then there are other moments (e.g. the final fight) where it feels a bit off. Nothing terrible, I just noticed from time to time. I guess the main character will always be the one under the microscope.

The three other billed actors (Ralph Fiennes, Rooney Mara and George Takai) get very little to do. But when they do perform they help the story.

In short: the voices are fine. Just hardly overwhelming -which is perfectly fine in any movie. A movie is telling a story by moving pictures. And the moving pictures in Kubo, well, ROCK!

EFFECTS

The effects then, in one word: HolycowhowdidtheypullthatoffthisisaMAzing! Oh how I love stop-motion animation. I don’t know how they pulled off some of the shots and I don’t want to know. I just wish, hope and pray that Laika never stops making movies. 

Heck, I’m Laika’s number one buyer of blu-rays and merchandise. So if they depend on my bank account for next year’s production budget, we’re cool. I, (yes it’s weird) actually own a Coraline doll.

The style requires a bit getting used to. It is all modeled after origami and Japanese art. But after five minutes in it feels natural and you are totally immersed.

MUSIC

Let’s make a small detour to the music. The trailer of Kubo had one of the best versions of George Harrison’s ‘While my guitar gently weeps’ in it. Hard drums, violins, even an actual guitar; it was one of the best versions I ever heard. And...it’s totally lacking from the movie.

Instead we get a slightly watered down rendition performed by Regina Spektor during the credits. A great version mind you, but a lot less epic. Such a shame. But then, I do understand, that would undermine the tone of the movie a bit which is basically a story about paternal love (and sororicide).

Also you'd better check this one out as well (or the Ukelle version ). This is one of those songs that could be played with a mouth harp and still sound great.

IS BIGGER BETTER?

As a final point I do wish to mention something that has been bothering me about this movie. The aforementioned ‘set pieces’. It’s obvious that Laika wanted to go all out with Kubo. We’ve got snow landscape, a fight under water, fire and smoke effects (no idea how they did it), a stormy sea and a gargantuan punk giant.

It’s amazing to see. And it is the craft of Laika that throughout all this showcasing they never forget the basic story and characters (with a lot of moving hair this time ‘round). But I don’t know if bigger will always be better.

Kubo is an adventure, so here it fits perfectly. But I do fear that in future projects Laika may forget that they are first and foremost telling a story. The beauty of the craft, sad to say, will always be a means to tell this story.

Through Coraline to Paranorman, via Boxtrolls to Kubo, Laika has always been ambitious of making better and grander stop-motion movies. I’m certain they are on the top of their game. But sometimes I fear that their future stories might suffer from an unnecessary desire to display their animation skills.

But that day hasn’t happened yet. So who am I worrying?

Wouldn’t it be great if Laika did another Niel Gaiman novel? The ocean at the end of the street comes to mind (or Fortunately the milk!).

At least someone in Hollywood should make Anansi Boys. Make the world a happier place for once.

CONCLUSION

Is Kubo the best Laika of the bunch? No, it’s not; the story is far too convenient to make a dent. Paranorman and Coraline are still the best. But keep in mind that Kubo is far superior than any of its competitors over the last year (which includes Zootopia). Laika is still on top of their game and Kubo is just one of its many gems. Their next features will be Wildwood and Goblins. I can’t hardly wait.

Black Mirror: season 3 (the first half) - A review

Black mirror: or, 'how to be miserable 2.0', is -I hope you know by now- one of the best television anthology series to date. 

Each episode a self-contained story, Black mirror tells dystopian futuristic tales that have a tendency to hit rather close to home due to its constant link to our present world. 

From the very first episode (that is equally observationally brilliant as bonkers disgusting) I was hooked on the, almost, philosophical approach this series applies as it questions (and often ridicules) our current mediated landscape.

And now the third season is here (on Netflix instead of BBC4) and I can be short in my judgment on this one: the latest season is perfectly in line with the seasons previous; equally brilliant, unnerving, daring and mischievous.

I do miss the 'end of part 1,2,3,4'-bit. Had a nice chapter-vibe to it.

But like the seasons previous the last season has one or two lesser episodes.

For instance: a lot of people disliked The Waldo moment even though it is quite a solid exposition on populist politics.

So the task I've set myself in this review is to take a look at what I liked and disliked about each episode of this season. But, remember, since Black Mirror's bar is set so high, me being critical is like disdaining Rembrandt.

Naturally I'm trying to stay as spoiler-free as possible. Ending each short segment with one, somewhat philosophical, question that, I think, you should take from this episode. I won’t bother too much with shots, mise-en-scene and acting because Black Mirror has always been story; first and foremost.

Nosedive

The very first episode and a nice character-arch for Bryce Dallas Howard. True, you can see the ending coming for miles and apart from the final scene (brilliant!). It's this ending that comes before that scene that doesn't really work with the rest op de teleplay; suddenly comedy instead of drama. Even though I’m certain Howard was having the greatest of times on set.

But the element of people constantly rating each other and the plastic world that comes from that is fascinating to watch. Forget all about big brother, you've got millions of people watching your every step. It's like invasion of the body snatchers turning everybody into Stepford wives.

It’s this class struggle Black Mirror often loves to play with. With it Nosedive delivers both a view of the psyche (perfectly captured between the brother and sister dynamic) and peer-pressure set in a highly stylized world that grows murkier as Howard’s character starts her ‘nosedive’.

Honestly, halfway through I wondered how many people would have snapped in this world. I certainly would've. Staying kind to everybody every day even if they are not – there are not enough 'happy pills' in the world to make that possible. This is the world Hannibal Lector would love, I guess.

Question: Popularity as the new currency, is that a good thing?

Playtest

Now this story has been done several times before. But Black Mirror makes the wise choice of waiting a while before springing it on us. However, that choice cannot hide the fact that, in the end, those other versions where often a bit better. 

I think, mainly the added ending is what hurts the episode the most. You could call it one trick too many.

Nonetheless is it a solid tale with actually some nice horror scares in there. Not frightening enough perhaps for a horror buff/connoisseur like me. But definitely well done.

Question: How real does immersion for entertainment have to be?

Shut up and dance

Probably one of the more brilliant episodes of the bunch. This is one of those episodes in which every piece of the puzzle fits together perfectly. But alas, I can't spoil anything.

In short this is the kind of internet blackmail (good 'ol trollface) in the extreme. A teenager (Kenny) his computer is hacked and through his webcam he's recorded 'having some alone time'. Then he gets a message: 'Do this or we release the video'.

Now, we all know this can actually happen. We also all know that, even though it is terrible if it happens to you, it isn't the end of the world as long as we don't give in to the hacker's demands. But poor Kenny does and as such a David Fincher-like game starts. With Kenny jumping through hoop after hoop.

The main character is brilliant in his sweet portrayal as this boy filled with teenage angst. And contrasting that shy boy with the powerhouse Jerome Flynn as a white collar worker is a recipe for fireworks.

But what is so mischievously good about this episode is the writing. I for one missed all the hints and fell for every misdirection. But even better, the episode manages to ask a philosophical question that stayed with me for the rest of the week: Who's right and who's wrong? If you think you are on the side of right, does it allow you to be horrendous to other people that are wrong?

I think, halfway through, I was hoping for a sweet Hollywood ending (again I can't spoil here). But then again, that's Black Mirror for you. Happy endings are rare.

Question: Does being on the side of good automatically make your actions good?

San Junipero

Okay, scrap that previous statement. Suddenly a Happy ending in Black Mirror -what's up with that? Even the Christmas Special was depressing as heck- but honesty due; it is a happy ending with a big cold bucket of realism poured on top. Forget the sugarcoating.

Now I liked the various timelines. But it did cause me to predict a lot in advance. I guess it had to do with the feeling that ‘something was off’; so you start looking for clues. But it is still great to watch how the story gets there.

As always the acting is great (especially great when you take a step back to think about it). And I enjoyed how the homosexuality was treated as normal instead of ‘special’ –which I think is one of the big problems when dealing with the subject. Far too often good natured people are trying to tell a tale about homosexuality but, in their effort, make it special; and therefore ‘outside of our current world’ –like a superhero-movie.

No here the two main females are gay. And that’s just a part of the bigger story; which is basically a love-story.

Btw I loved Greg. What a sweetheart!

Question: Immortality or death – your choice!

Men against fire

The song is back, ahh that song. It wouldn't be Black Mirror without it. 

Anyway, Black Mirror tries the zombie genre. And, of course, it inverts the genre. Without spoiling anything I can say that this story has been done before. But the explanation given here for the ‘why’-question is far more interesting than that in previous fictions.

As an additional layer of realism this episode is set in Eastern Europe. There are more than enough references to the Balkan war.

Apart from the incredible aggressive fighter girl played by Madeline Brewer (I like her a lot) this episode is steadily focused on Malachi Kirby and his attempt to be one of the best.

Naturally, being Black Mirror and all, the 'best' isn't good enough. But something about the writing kept me on toes trying to figure out who this main character was. The final reveal that, before, he wasn't very much, therefore, didn't struck me much of a surprise (that's not really a spoiler, I've been vague enough already).

I loved the critique of the US army and current racial discriminative climate that echoed through this scene.

Even though this is probably one of the ‘easiest’ episodes of this half of the season, it is still filled to the brim with potential. Especially keep an eye out for the scenes between the psychiatrist and his patient. Michael Kelly is as cool as we all know him (through Person of Interest and House of cards) as he deals the truth to a common bloke like you-and-me as a card game slowly to be won.

Question: Can you live with fiction or do you prefer reality?

Hated in the nation.

The longest one in the bunch. Pretty much a full scale movie. And a great one at that.

Take The Happening, Untraceable, a bit of Robocop and top it all off with Silence of the lambs (any movie buff should have gotten that reference) and you've got Hated in the nation. But what this episode lacks in originality it most definitely makes up with realism, contemporarism and sheer cheek.

Great to see Kelly MacDonald in normal clothes again.

The basic premise might require a bit of salt. But when the sci-fi kicks in and you get your first glimpses of the big picture you are in for a hell of a ride. ‘Hated‘ is a great buddy cop mystery film that -for the large part- takes the sci-fi for real and goes with it (I actually understood all the things Blue was saying throughout. Wow!).

One or two nitpicks have to go for the more stupid decisions two of the men-folk make in this episode. Truly, haven't they seen any movie with a criminal mastermind at work? Always, always rethink your plan!

That manifesto, btw, looked a lot like the manifesto by that creep in Norway (I won't utter his name).

Even though the main character never truly gets a moment to shine on a personal level (she's a bit too cold-hearted for that-a bit too much baggage we never get to see). This episode follows the villain's plan and the detectives trying to solve it falling right into the trap. And that's, to me, the main trick this episode pulls: the main character is actually the villain, somebody we know nothing about. But, like those internet death-wishes, he is the one who has the hardest impact on our world. A brilliant move: An anonymous protagonist!

 Question: How far does free speech reach?

Conclusion:

So which episode was the best? How would I rank this first half of the third season of Black Mirror? Without a doubt episode three (Shut up and dance) is ranking number one. This episode was so tremendously carefully constructed that I’m actually in awe. Two and three should go to San Junipero (because I love happy endings) and Hated in the nation (because my cynical self hates internet haters). Which puts Nosedive fourth, Men against fire fifth and Playtest in last place. Not because I disliked the story. But rather because I felt there was more to gain from the premise.

Final conclusion: I like my Black Mirror to be depressing. But I need a happy ending to follow up on it!

Lights out - a review

A young woman gets a call for help from her younger brother. He’s afraid to sleep in his own house due to the strange friend her mother seems to be keeping. As she cares for the boy she soon learns that there is something lurking in the shadows.

Lights out - or jump scare the movie would’ve been a better title. I don't mind a jump scare every once in a while. But a movie full of them is a bit much. What's wrong with some good ol' fashioned suspense? You don't have to end every single momentum with a 'Boo!'-moment.

The jump scares makes it practically unwatchable because every time I suspect one my eyes are on the ceiling. Basically this movie is one long series of jump scares with a smallest of plot to fill in the gaps. Lights out is a troubled movie.

The story.

Even though the final solution is quite an interesting take (though it has been done several times before) the story is one of the most basic ghost-stories around.  So basic even that you are actually left with the notion that from all those movies that had the same story before this one which actually tried to 'play around' with the tropes/clichés. After Lights out all those movies got better in retrospect.

But I guess this movie knew this because the whole mystery is handed over to the viewer around 45 minutes in. This movie is all 'cards on the table'. You even get to see the monster within the first five minutes which (to me at least) was a bit of a head scratching moment. It's a balance question. You might not want to copy those numerous movies before that hold off showing the monster until the hour mark. But at the same time it isn't advisable to throw your trump card down the first.

The light effects, however, are brilliant. It truly is fun to see a ghost disappear when the light goes on. And with that the movie does make maximum usage of deploying the camera for some unnerving angles.

To be honest I thought the initial credits sequence was the best part of the movie (great soundtrack too).

But the story and the cheap thrills of the jump scares do wreck it all for me. It's like the people making this movie couldn't come up with additional strands of storyline to fill the ninety-minute window (the movie clocks in at one hour eighteen minutes). That's why we get the main characters walking to doors slowly all the time. Like this movie is desperately trying to get the audience its moneys' worth, at least on the time schedule.

Acting

Now I might sound a bit depressing but one of the highlights in this movie is the acting. Everybody is perfectly fine. The child might be a bit inexperienced but nothing terribly (nickelodeon) annoying. And Maria Bello -ah the great Bello (watch her in Beautiful boy)- is having fun as a crazy person.

Then there's the relationship between Rebecca and Brett which is actually rather sweet. At first you suspect him to be cannon fodder number one because he looks like a loser (who happens to drive quite the expensive car). But he grows on you as a charming fellow made for an equally charming girl.

So that's a big plus to this movie: every character is rather well rounded and relatable (even likable).

Too bad the rest of the script is such a mess.

I think there's a trend going. Lately I've been seeing a lot of movies in which characters who (as the trope would demand it) normally conflict suddenly act like human beings and have reasonable conversations. Maybe it's me. Or maybe the new generation of movie writers is fed up with daddy-issues and bad-boyfriends.

Conclusion

So how should I review Lights out? It's a fun movie to sit through if you like jump scares. The acting is fine, the effects are cool. The story, however, is sub-par at best. Nothing wrong with having this little supernatural thriller on your watch list. Just don't expect to be overwhelmed by it.

The shallows - a review

After the death of her mother a young woman decides to travel to her mother’s ‘secret beach’ in South America for some acceptance and surfing. As she’s surfing alone she comes across bloodthirsty shark intent on hurting her.

Copying from other movies: a bad thing?

In one sentence The shallows is the female 127 hours with quite a healthy dose of Jaws thrown into the mix. Regarding the first movie the moral is the same: don't go adventuring alone. And regarding Jaws - well in the third act my mind’s eye definitely heard Roy Scheider mutter: "Smile you son of a ..."

So this movie copies! Is it bad? Not in the slightest. It's actually rather enjoyable in its predictability. You can pretty much guess who's shark food and who's not, and that's fine. The important question is whether or not Blake Lively is going to survive her ordeal or not?

Take for instance this wonderful cliché the movie throws at us early on - the deceased mother:

Strangely enough in movies girls have to follow mother's footsteps and guy's their fathers.

Her relationship with her father and sister is handled quite effectively on this matter. No unnecessary forcefulness. No fights or anything. Simple people who love each other but argue at times. And when you handle a well known trope in such a natural way (not every family member starts fighting whenever a loved-one perishes) it becomes a normal part of the story.

Camera and effects.

This movie is one of those movies that might, in the near future, refer to obsolete things. Will people, ten years from now, remember uber? Will they chuckle at those silly headgear cameras? ‘Tubing’ and youtube - will it still exist? But, then again, with it The shallows grounds itself in 2016. So like Spielberg’s Jaws, this is a movie of its time.

And as such it makes great use of layers of information when portraying messages and phone calls. It's one of those simple tricks that make the screen even more interesting (which is already very interesting due to a stunning actress and background).

At the start of the movie I noticed that the movie is counting down to events. So my mind’s eye immediately thought - : "wouldn't it be cool if there were some kind of countdown timed race. Too bad this movie doesn't go that route..." 
In short I was already writing this review in my head. And then the movie actually did it! So kudos to the movie from saving me to write a whole paragraph on how I would have made this movie better (tongue in cheek obviously).

The shark effects a quite good (apart from some mucky fire-fin near the end). And I'm sure marine biologist the world over will protest this movie's intention to make us hate sharks all over again (sorry, I do!).

But overall the cinematography of this movie is brilliant. The job is easy if you have such a stunning actress and background at your disposal. But as the tension rises the camera closes up to the character. And, of course, with the presence of a shark, the camera can’t help itself by playing around with what the swimmer sees and does not see. Straight from the cinema-textbook of Jaws and perfectly executed.

If I had to throw in a little nitpick (and I can't believe I'm writing this) it has to be the perfect body of Blake Lively in the skinnies of her swimsuits. It's a bit gracious at times that would make the average man blush (and the average feminist...). But then again what else is she going to wear as a surfer chick? This movie is still 'girl in her panties versus zombies shark'.

The acting.

The acting is great across the board. Blake Lively does a great one woman show portraying all the fears and doubts her character goes through. The supporting cast, limited in their acting time complete the picture (especially Brett Cullen as her father who is always a reliable actor to play someone's conscience).

The story.

The story then -well in the third act it goes a bit over the top (pretty much when she reaches the buoy -no spoiler it's on the poster). Where 127 hours left all the craziness for the dream sequences, The shallows serves them cold and that does unbalance the movie a bit. I can’t spoil more here but, sufficient to say, it gets a bit silly in the end.

To sum up.

After years of marine biologists telling me that shark's aren't dangerous I can still (quite easily) believe the opposite. But the superpowers this shark manifests in the final act are a bit too much for my logical brain to comprehend. Having said that The shallows is still a solid shark-movie, with some great acting, visuals and tension.

Don't breathe -a review

Three young burglars (the alpha-male, his girlfriend, and the well-to-do boy hopelessly in love with her) decide to break into the house of an elderly blind man. Little do they know that this old man is former military and very capable of dealing with his problems, sight or not!

Don't breathe is being heralded as the best new horror/thriller on the market today. And, to be absolutely honest: it is a solid thrill ride. But I can't shake the feeling that; if this is the best on the market today, the market has taken a step back in its expectations.

In the final moments of Wait until dark –the inspirational predecessor- the screen went completely dark for (almost) a full minute. Don’t breathe fails to pull off that trick. To put the viewer in the ‘eyes’ of the blind man. I think that is one heck of a missed opportunity to crank up the tension.

Script

Again this is a movie that would have benefitted from a more streamlined script. Basically all the three criminals are cut-out characters that don't really have a moment to shine together- a moment for us to invest in them. And due to that the scares and jumps don't really work on a danger-level (or a “please-God-not-him/her”-level, if you will). Now, with such a small cast this is a harder achievement to pull off, I’ll give you. But this movie is very close.
 

Another scriptural nitpick is the smartness of the characters. True, they are humans who are scared out of their wits. But there were a lot of possible fight-back options available early on in the movie. In short I've seen movies in the past that handled this concept more effectively.

But nonetheless Don't breathe is still a solid thriller. If I had to give it a number (I never rate my reviews) it would be a well-earned eight. This has to do with the three solid pillars of this movie: the acting, directing and not-overstaying it's welcome.
 

There's also an awesome gross scene halfway through that has every theater in the world gasping in an OMG-giggle. You'll know it when you see it.

The acting

The acting is fantastic. Dylan Minnette is the heartthrob shy-boy he plays so well. Daniel Zovatto nails his part as a dumber than excrement white trash cannon fodder (it's really fun to hate him). And  Jane Levy is the more complex character of the bunch; shifting between naive and smart and greedy and compassionate.

But the real showstopper is definitely Stephen Lang: this brute of a man with intelligence who doesn't let his handicap bring him down. He is all muscle, he is all male, and he knows it. So what does he do? He shows vulnerability. Suddenly this ‘terminator’ becomes human; and therefore even more scary. I can deal with a murderous cyborg from the future, but how to deal with a smart human with a plan…no idea.

An additional bit of cleverness of this movie is how it handles sound. Without spoiling the movie to much the blind man (actually called the blind man in the credits) lives in a suburban house, in a street with no neighbors. No wonder he can hear every sound the burglars make. There's no interference. It's one of those additional little strokes of brilliance that elevate the movie and, at the same time, explains certain plotholes/unbelievabilities.

Plus, as a big plus, this movie doesn't shy away from throwing some of the more obnoxious sounds our way in all of its raw brutality.

Cinematography

There is something of a trend going on in thriller movies. In the Conjuring 1 and 2 the camera uses a long take to show every room that plays a part in the next hour and a half. Giving the viewer a layout of the place as it were. Don't breathe does the same thing but also incorporates various 'Chechov's guns';

Each little item the camera focuses on during this long-take is used later on and this is a very reassuring technique. It's a bit like Hitchcock's explanation of suspense (or informing the viewer): Now this character is in the room with 'that item' - and then you see that character use said item.

Other shots are intensely framed. A simple pan that shows the blind man appearing behind a character. Close-ups during fights and suspense. With one scene, lifted directly from a Jurassic Park-film, that actually managed to outdo Spielberg.

One thing I didn't like was the opening shot. It basically gives away the ending and, more so, even tells you rather bluntly what is going to happen to various characters. I would have preferred to be left in the dark about that (pun intended) - make it a surprise.

Overstaying

Don't breathe doesn't overstay its welcome, which is a good thing. How many variations of a hunting blind man's game can you put forth believably anyway (lots now that I think about it)? And even though -as I said before- some of the character choices are a bit too naive or passive to begin with; because the movie isn't stretched out it is a solid ride.

As a nitpick I do have to mention one or two horror movie tropes that this movies uses; which it shouldn't have. In no real order, without spoiling too much: If you defeat the villain - make sure he's dead. If a villain has a weakness - abuse the heck out of it. In movies: fighting is always better than fleeing!

So to summarize: Don't breathe is a solid thriller that could have been even better (which is a tad frustrating). The small story is elevated by the cast and some intense camerawork. And it doesn't last any longer than it should have and that is perfectly okay. Sit down in the dark seats of the movie theater and enjoy the blind man hunting you.

Miss Peregrine’s home for peculiar children – A review

Miss Peregrine’s home for peculiar children is about an American teenage boy whose storytelling grandfather just died under mysterious circumstances. To solve his trauma and find out the truth he goes to a small island off the coast of great ol’ England. There he finds more than he has bargained for…

Again a movie of which I read the book in advance. And I liked it (I still need to read the other two parts –though). Now, the book is basically a story build around some peculiar turn-of-the-century photographs.

Like any medium photography was quickly used for more illusion-creating purposes (George Mêlées in film, or the existence of tromp l'oeil in painting).

So the writer (Randsom Riggs) found several strange pictures from the past and created an interesting story behind it. One big problem in his book, however, is the third act that doesn't really work. The movie-version noticed this as well and created a vastly different version. But whether it did so for the good or the bad is quite the matter of opinion.

Story

One big plus of this adaptation is that it pretty much fast-forwards through the first four chapters of the book. Within five minutes the movie is already comfortably setting sail towards chapter five. And, even though it glances over some character development. It starts quickly and confidently.

(I would have preferred Asa Butterfield's character to be a bit more rebellious. But, then again, I did like the fact that the movie doesn't mention that his character's family is loaded with money - something that was totally unnecessary in the book.

It's when the cast arrives at the magical island that Burton gets to have some fun with his personal toolbox of insanity. And, as a big (very big) plus this movies doesn't rely on CGI overkill like Alice in Wonderland (or Johnny Depp playing a make-up-mad-man). In Burton's repertoire Miss Peregrine’s home for peculiar children sits comfortably between Sweeney Todd and Alice. Or, Edward Scissorhands's divide between the gothic laboratory and the colorful urban world.

Characters/actors

Asa Butterfield tries his hand at another possible franchise. And, again, as always, he's a solid actor to rely upon (this boy hasn’t made a wrong step yet). There aren't a lot of faults to blame on his portrayal. Rather his character in the script.

Chris O’Dowd, then, is great as his father. And even though it is strange to hear him talk in an American accent there's no denying that he rocks in short-pants. He truly is the loving but strict father this story needs.

Of all the children, who each play their part to perfection -regardless of screen time (some children take a bit of a backseat), it is actually Cameron King who left most of an impression on me as the invisible boy. Which is, of course, weird because you don't see him. It has everything to do with his voice. I would say that here there is a great voice actor in the making.

But the two biggest players are also the ones who deserve the most credit. Eva Green as Miss Peregrine is perfectly cast as the Mary-Poppins-with-a-crossbow character. I would (based on the books) preferred an older actress. But after seeing Green's performance she truly won me over.

Samuel L. Jackson, however, is chewing all kinds of scenery as the villain and you either like it or you hate it (he does start to get a bit annoying towards the end). He's threatening and you'll remember him when the movie is done. But such a theatrical villain, is a bit too much for this movie. It feels like Burton was afraid to ask the big Jackson to tone it down a bit. But then again Jackson has a surplus of charm so it's fun to watch.

I would have preferred a small interaction - for lack of a better word- between Bronwyn and her brother. Now this character is shoe-horned in and forgotten in a space of three minutes. It works to explain the evilness of the Hollows but it could also have been used for more character development.

The third act.

If the first two acts are solid introduction. The third act goes completely bonkers. For example: Ray Harryhousen's skeletons are brought up (again. Same as in Spy Kids 2). I loved it, no doubt. But it does feel like it suddenly shifts into a completely different direction, dislodging it from the two hours previous.

Truth be told I had the same feeling reading the novel. All those problems could’ve been solved
in an instant (in the movie using the twins, for instance).

 

The best way I can describe it is by adressing the problem between dark and light this movie suffers from. I've watched my share of horror movies so I'm probably a bit numbed when it comes to bloodshed. But at one point various characters are seen eating eyeballs. While at the same time the corpses who 'delivered' said eyes are shown completely intact with some black lenses. I actually had to double-back when I saw the eyeballs-scene because I realized that all those bodies I've seen before were actually eyeless. I mean, there are heart-transplants and crossbow-headshots the over in this movie yet not a single drop of blood is seen.

I think this movie would have benefited from just the tiniest amount of blood here and there. I mean, even the Neverending Story (one of the best children's-films ever) had the main character Arturo walking around with a big bloody gash on his chest.

Conclusion

But overall Tim Burton has crafted a solid movie. The third act overdid it a bit. Noticable in the strange balance between gothic and colorful or bloodless and bloodshed. But if you look at it as it is: a thrilling tale filled with fantasy you've got a great ride ahead of you.

However, I do wish Burton started crafting his own tales again. Big Eyes and Big Fish (a coincidence?) are two of his most personal and best movies in his career.