Mixed tape movies - here be monsters

In the eighties it was the-thing-to-do to make a mixed tape (like a mp3 but touchable, always in need of a pencil and most definitely cooler). On it you would make a little playlist of all the cool songs. Now the trick was to make each song correspond with the rest of the tape. In this post I will try to do the same with movies.

Every once in a while I will select a general topic and select movies to accompany it. As you can see the more child-friendly movies are at the start of the day, but  when night falls: ‘here be monsters’. Please feel free to give suggestions of other unknown movies.

One rule though: Auteur themes like ‘Shakespeare’ or ‘James Bond’ are not allowed. ‘Spy-movies’, naturally, are. 

Theme: Here be monsters

 

I love those old maps that have sea monsters scribbled in the corners. There once was a time when monsters were everywhere. Nowadays we realize that the monsters are our fellow men. Notwithstanding I want to delve into monster movies. Where the threat of Dracula’s bloody fangs are very, very real. 

08:00-10:00 
Hotel Transylvania: A fun movie about Dracula and his daughter –who falls for a backpacker. Even though the main character is voiced by Adam –‘please stop working’- Sandler I still like this movie because it is what it is. No pretences. It just wants to give the viewer a good time. And it does with some good jokes. I becomes a bit sappy at the end but, then again, it’s a kids movie.

10:00-12:00

Ernest scare stupid: The best movie in the Ernest-franchise. Here simple Ernest takes on a century old troll trying to capture children. It might be a little bit too scary for the little ones but I never minded. Besides the minute Ernest cries out “Milak” all is forgiven and I’m (still) rolling on the floor laughing. 

12:00-14:00

The monster squad: The classic had to be included. ‘Boys versus monsters’ would have been an equally impressive title. In this movie a group of boys take on, not only, Dracula but also the swamp thing, the mummy, the monster of Frankenstein and the wolfman. Hell yeah.

14:00-16:00

Harry and the Hendersons: After two bad monster movies it is time for a good monster movie once again. Bigfoot Harry is just that one. He’s sweet, slightly stupid and fun for all. Include a caring John Lithgow and an evil Poirot, David Suchet and you’ve got a great movie for all the family.

16:00-18:00

Loch Ness: And another monster from legend. If I got Bigfoot I might as well include Nessie. A scientists goes to Scotland to see whether Nessie is real. He falls in love with the hotel proprietress and her little daughter and then he spoils it all.

One fun thing I liked about this movie is the ending. Spoiler warning: everything is alright in the end. The hero kisses his sweetheart. But –what I noticed- the director probably told the little girl standing in the background to be happy and dance around a bit and then run back into the house. The little girl did just what she was told, danced her little butt off and went back into the house…and out again…dancing…in again…out again…dancing…

It is a sweet and hilarious ending at the same time. I can’t blame the girl. It’s just fun. Like the movie.

18:00-20:00

Matinee: The best monster movies were made in the ‘50s. This movie highlights that period in time alongside communism scares and the thread of nuclear holocaust. A sweet story to put all those movie previous into perspective. Also it has John Goodman playing Lawrence Woolsey stealing every single scene he’s in. 

20:00-22:00

Young Frankenstein: Like hotel Transylvania before I assume my readers/viewers know the stories behind the monster beforehand. This is a great parody of the Monster of Frankenstein story. It is hilarious on the level that only Mel Brooks manages to achieve. And it even got a great cameo by Gene Hackman to boot.

22:00-00:00

Tremors: It is later at night now, not it is time to slowly go into real monster horror. Tremors is just the thing. It is horror but with quite a lot of humor to it. Giant sandworm trying to eat people and Kevin Bacon to save the day. But that’s not the best thing. What I love about this movie is the moment the poor sandworm decides to dig into the cellar of a gun collecting world-war-III-prepper. The little voice in my head can still hear the sandworm mutter: “Oh shi…” 

00:00-02:00

Swamp Thing: The classic. When you talk about B-monster-movies this one should be on your repertoire. It isn’t bad, but it isn’t perfect either. It is a strange experiment from the eighties that never really worked. And so, few people have seen it. Too few in my opinion.

02:00-04:00

Jeepers Creepers: A true monster movie horror to end this list. I love the fact that the two main protagonists are brother and sister. That way I don’t have to worry about any sex-scenes that break away the tension. No, here we have two people willing to fight for each other while fleeing from a monster. And no it won’t end happily, or maybe it will.

Honorable mentions: There are way too many movies I could have included on this list. For starters the Hammer Horror movies. Heck, I managed to avoid Christopher Lee, Vincent Price and Boris Karloff all together. Shame on me. Still this is my list. And, don’t worry. These three greats will make their presence known in upcoming articles.