Wednesday 29 June 2016

65 bits of Jurassic Park trivia.

I'm a big fan of Jurassic Park. It's a generation thing I guess (because I'm definitely not the only one). Now, through the years people have been uploading all kinds of bits of trivia and whatnot to the Internet about this movie. And, I think, it's about time to make a little list out of it. Maybe, you know most of them, and maybe there are some you haven't seen before. At least, here they are:

Mistakes.

65. The end of the fence.
You don’t have to build an entire fence if you wish to make the audience believe that there is a fence. However, you shouldn’t show the end of the fence on screen if you can help it.

64. ‘Helping’ the raptor.
The dinosaurs of Jurassic Park came to be through a mixture or ‘real’ animatronic puppets and CGI. The raptors entering the kitchen are puppets. How can I tell? Because a crewmember is holding its tail to steady it.

63. The sudden gorge.
One a lot of people noticed the first time ‘round. The T-rex breaks free from his paddock and attacks the children. Then, when Alan Grant and the children seek refuge in the paddock there’s a sudden gorge there. Can a T-rex climb a tree? Really, with those little arms?

62. Knowing when the phone call ends.
The one I noticed the first time ‘round. When Dennis Nedry is talking to his helper on the dock he is clearly talking to a playing video. An amazing bit of sci-fi technology here: a videophone that knows when your call is going to end.

61. Nedry’s bag.
A cheap shot, these happen all the time in movies, but a fun one to notice. Nedry has and hasn’t got his bag in two following shots when talking to Dodgson.

60. Disappearing raptor.
Why this happened? No idea. Maybe one of the computer graphics guys was on sick-leave. But when the raptor attacks the T-rex in the big finale he suddenly disappears for a singular frame.

59. Where did the T-rex come from?
During the climactic finale the T-rex saves the day by killing the raptors. But how could he have entered the building? This is often considered a mistake. But the only mistake here is that the audience never gets to see the big hole in the wall behind him. If you look closely at the background in various scenes you’ll notice that the visitor centre isn’t completed yet. So the T-rex could easily have fitted in. Now why nobody heard this big girl arrive? That is indeed a good question.

58. Spell-check.
In the embryo freezing chamber, Tyrannosaurus rex is spelled with only one "N" instead of two. Also, Stegosaurus is spelled "Stegasaurus". (I’m such a notorious bad speller that I copy pasted this one directly from IMDB.com)

57. Changing towel.
During the introduction of John Hammond his tea towel changes in color.

56. A potted plant?
When the T-rex spins the car around you can spot a potted plant and a stage light.

Foreshadowing and explanations

55. The belt buckles.
’All dinosaurs are females’ Dr. Henry Wu explains. So they wouldn’t be able to mate to create offspring. During the movie Grant comes across evidence that ‘life has found a way’. But this was foreshadowed scenes before when he tied two ‘female’ belt buckles together.

54. The fake flea circus and the dinosaurs.
Richard Hammond tells Ellie Sattler about his early day as a manager of a flea circus. All the little acts in this circus where mechanical. There weren’t any real trained flees – but people pretended there were.
Now consider the fact that the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park aren’t real dinosaurs. They are a concoction of real dinosaur DNA and frog DNA to fill in the gabs in the genetic code. So just as fake as the flea circus. 

53. The fridge.
It always seemed a bit convenient that the fridge door was open in the famous kitchen scene. But it wasn’t.  Several scenes before –during the power outage- Hammond is seen eating ice-cream because, as he said it, “they were all melting”. Which is understandable if there is no electricity to power the fridge? So he took the ice-cream and left the fridge door open. Then when the power returned the water on the floor started to freeze again. So now Timmy could run towards the open fridge, slip and slide his way out and trap the raptor.

52. Chekhov’s gun: the ride.
During the ride the narrator in the car tells the guests all about the various dangerous skills the dinosaurs posses. For instance, the Dilophosaurus’s skill to spits a venomous substance at its prey.
Naturally, all these things explained happen later on to poor Nedry.

51. ‘Spared no expense.’
Be wary of people who say things like ‘spared no expense’ or ‘I don’t care about how much it costs’. They are usually cheapskates. Hammond only hired Dennis Nedry to write the massive bulk of code that keeps Jurassic Park functioning and then refused to pay him more. 

50. He doesn’t want kids.
Alan Grant doesn’t want children at the beginning of the movie. In the end, with Tim and Lex sleeping on his shoulders he looks at his girlfriend with a look that tells her: “yeah, alright, some like these would be fine.” This was reused and gender switched in Jurassic World

49. The logo.
When the guests first arrive in Jurassic Park a jeep stops at the heliport and the camera focuses on the sparkly clean logo on the car door. When the survivors leave the logo is muddied.
Also, with some creative reading it reads: “UR ASS PARK,” as in “you’re lucky to get out with your ass in one piece.”

48. The vegetarian curse.
Lex is a vegetarian. Of course the minute a person says something like this nature has to throw a severed goat leg towards her.

47. Dinosaurs evolved into birds.
The most obvious one but it should be mentioned. The bird flying past the helicopter in the end.

46. Black and white.
There is a reason Malcolm wears all black and Hammond all white: It symbolizes how diametrically opposed the two characters are. Also Malcolm hurts his leg whilst Hammond leaves the island unscratched.

45. Man versus nature.
Jurassic Park’s message that ‘man cannot control nature’ is underlined by using a tropical storm as one of the elements of the park’s failure.

44. InGen.
The company name InGen means ‘Nobody’ in Norwegian.

43. Exit-speech.
The directions Ian Malcolm gives Ellie Sattler after he snatches the radio from Hammond are his last lines of dialog in the entire movie.

42. Look after your kids.
Each time Lex and Tim are left by an adult they are attacked by a dinosaur.

41. ACGT.
At one point, during the finale, a raptor is illuminated by a computer screen repeating the letters ‘ACGT’ over and over again. These letters are the acronym for Adenine, Cytosine, Guanine and Thymine, the DNA's base pair.

40. Alice in Wonderland.
There are several references to Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. ‘The white rabbit’-codeword than Nedry uses to cover his track is the most obvious one. But then there’s also the character Lewis Dodgson whose name seems to be a combination of Lewis Carroll and (Lewis Carroll’s birth name) Charles Dodgson.

39. Dinosaur versus humans.
Not a single dinosaur is directly killed by a human being (though being locked up in a freezer is possibly deadly for a raptor).

38. Nature’s beings.
Each and every moment in which the hunting dinosaurs are out of their element (=not in nature) they lose the fight with the humans/the humans escaping.

37. Mr. Smokealot.
In every scene Ray Arnold appears there is a cigarette present. 

Fun of the internet. 

36. Dammit Phil.




















35. For the love of the Goldblum.













34. Long live memes.




















33. Funny when it’s gif-ed (1).













32. Funny when it’s gif-ed (2).











Production trivia.

31. Hurricane.
During production Hawaii (where the movie was shot) was struck by one of the most powerful storms ever: Hurricane Iniki.

30. Familiar pilot.
The helicopter pilot who rescued the cast and crew during this hurricane was a man called: Fred Sorenson. The same man who plays the pilot in the beginning of Spielberg’s Raiders of the lost ark.

29. Attenborough unbothered.
When the hurricane hit Richard Attenborough stayed in his hotel room and slept through the event. When he was later asked how he did it he replied: “My dear boy, I survived the blitz!"

28. Back in the game.
The role of John Hammond was Richard Attenborough’s first acting role for fourteen years.

27. A smart fix.
When Lex falls through the ceiling the stunt woman who did the stunt accidentally looked up into the camera. In post production her face was replaced with that of the actress.

26. The start of the CGI revolution.
Originally all the dinosaurs were supposed to be puppets. But when Spielberg saw the potential of CGI he opted for a combination of the two techniques.

25. Don’t you mean…
Ian Malcom’s line: “Don’t you mean extinct?”. Comes from Phil Tippett when he saw how CGI bettered the clunky animatronics.

24. Product placement.
There is a lot of product placement in this movie (especially visible during the ‘flea circus’-scene). All of which could be bought at the time (and are now collectors’ items).

23. News clippings.
Alan and Ellie have several articles about UFO’s in their trailer. (like "Space Aliens Stole My Face" and "Dinosaurs On Mars!") A big nod to Close encounters of the third kind and E.T.

22. Humor sign.
Alan and Ellie have a sign that says “No animal released without paperwork completely filled out” hanging in their trailer.

21. Real fear.
When the T-rex breaks the roof of the car the screams of the children are genuine. The robot wasn’t supposed to break the Plexiglas roof.

20. Spooky T-rex.
Due to the wet surroundings the animatronic T-rex would often short-circuit during its introduction scene. However, every once in a while it would come alive on its own accord and scare the yips out of people.

19. Set accident.
Sam Neill burned himself on the flare. According to him: “It dropped some burning phosphorous on me and got under my watch and took a chunk of my arm out.”

18. Audition luck.
Joseph Mazzello (or Joe as he calls himself nowadays), who played Tim Murphy, originally auditioned for Spielberg’s Hook. Even though he was turned down Spielberg promised him to cast him in his next movie.

17. Flipped characters.
Because Joseph Mazzello was so young the Jurassic Park script flipped the ages of the children. In the original book the boy is the oldest.

16. Jaws.
The first time Dennis Nedry is seen at his work station on of the monitors is playing Spielberg’s Jaws.

15. Very few dinosaurs for a dinosaur movie.
There are only 15 minutes of actual dinosaur footage in the film: 9 minutes are Stan Winston's animatronics, 6 minutes of it is ILM's CGI.

14. Super Size Start.
As a fast-food tie in dino-sized meals could be ordered. So basically Jurassic Park started the super-sized frenzy.

13. Pirates.
When Jurassic Park was released people flocked to cinemas. Well, except the people in the Ural city of Yekaterinburg who watched a pirated version of the movie aired on television.

Cut scenes

12. River run.
An early draft of the screenplay had the T-rex attacking Grant and the children while they ride down a river and through a waterfall. These ideas were later used for The lost world and Jurassic Park 3.

11. Ellie’s leaf.
The leaf Ellie examines was originally taken en route. The moment she does is still in the trailer – but left out of the final film.

10. Riding a triceratops.
Originally Lex and Tim would encounter a baby Triceratops to ride (there was even an animatronic made).

09. Alternative ending.
The original ending had Grant shoot one raptor and kill the second one with the T-rex skeleton’s ribcage. Spielberg later decided that the T-rex should make a return to ‘save the day’, as it were.

08. The book versus the movie 
There are quite a few differences between the original book and the movie:
  • In the book Timmy is the older sibling and both a computer and dinosaur enthusiast.
  • In the book Lex is more a sports enthusiast.
  • In the book Hammond isn’t the nice grandfatherly type. He’s quite a d*ck to be exact.
  • Hammond, in the book, dies by being eaten by Compsognathus (or Compos). This death was later used for Peter Stormare’s character in Jurassic Park: the lost world.
  • In the book Dr. Henry Wu dies when a raptor jumps him.
  • In the novel writer Michael Crichton explains why the triceratops is sick. Namely, toxic berries.
  • Donald Gennaro and Robert Muldoon both survive the book. Moreover, Gennaro is far less of a coward than he is in the movie.
  • It is strongly suggested that Ian Malcolm dies in the book (but then the author resurrected him for the sequel). Moreover, in the book Malcolm runs away from the T-rex without trying to help Grant and the children.
  • In the book Tim and Lex’ parents are going through a messy divorce. A plot element that was later used for Jurassic World

07. Richard Kiley.
In the book the audio tour the characters take is narrated by Richard Kiley. Spielberg, therefore, decided to hire Richard Kiley to provide the voice in the movie. 

The legacy

06. Artist future.
Ariana Richards has become quite the artist. I actually like her paintings.

05. The cancelled cartoon.
There were plans for a cartoon series.

04. Long lost colleagues.
According to Jeff Goldblum in an interview in 2016 he and Sam Neill haven't crossed paths again for years (make it happen!).

03. Strange questions and requests.
Jeff Goldblum posed for a T-rex-themed wedding photo.

“Are you the lady that stuck her hand in dinosaur poop?” is the question Laura Dern hears the most. 

Could be worse when I think about Jason Biggs.

02. Is it a good thing or a bad thing?
Jurassic Park convinced George Lucas to use CGI for his Star Wars Prequels.

01. A good thing.
Study of dinosaurs (paleontology) skyrocketed after this movie.

00. One unofficial bit of trivia.
A popular fan theory states that the boy who gets frightened by Grant at the beginning of the film is a young Owen Grady from Jurassic World.

Game of thrones – the final five episodes of season six (and I’m still loving it).

Game of thrones has managed it again. After a lackluster fifth season the sixth season has gone out in a blaze of glory. As I have previously written I was already loving the first five episodes of this season and (apart from a few nitpicks) the show hasn’t run out of steam in the last five.

If I had to truly point out one big flaw in the show it’s that it is going by pretty darn fast. Coldhands appeared and disappeared from the show in two episodes flat. And in the last episode alone the show killed off seven major players (and a CGI heavy citadel).
But then again, the show is in its final stretch.
So how to structure this article? Lets deal with the deaths first and see from there.

Poor Tommen – he was too kind for Westeros
Reading some reviews online I noticed a lot of people complaining that Tommen kind of went out like a ‘total wimp’. Which is true, but, I think, a bit more complicated than that. For starters Tommen is still pretty much a teenage (even younger in the books). And teenagers aren’t the most levelheaded creatures to roam this planet. Especially when it comes to grief.

This actor played two parts in Game of thrones.
And in both parts his character died.
Poor chap.
Second, what I always liked was that, Tommen is the mirror opposite of Joffrey. Where Joffrey was cruel, Tommen was caring. Where Joffrey was single-minded, Tommen was full of doubt. So Tommen’s demise, in this sense, makes perfect sense.
When Joffrey died he was basically a child crying for his mother to save him. But Tommen didn’t need his mother. He made his own adult decision. Or, at least, that’s the way I read it.

Looking back at the three Lannister siblings I can only conclude that the (probably) best candidate for the throne would have been Myrcella. This girl was both sweet and smart (figuring out who her father was). But then again, she did get poisoned.

Anyway, in every season of Game of thrones a king dies. And now Cersei is in power.
Now that she finally, and obviously, has lost her marbles even Jamie is a bit scared of her. But, then again, these two characters are already pretty messed up in the head. So it’s quite difficult to try any prediction. At least her prophecy came true. She finally got the main prize. Which kind of makes her a target.

Poor Rickon – never walk in a straight line.
Couldn’t the show have given dear Art Parkinson at least one line before he got killed. I mean, the boy is doing voice work for the upcoming Laika animation later this year- I’m sure he can talk. Anyway, all silliness aside, I do recognize the critique his character has gotten for not zigzagging when he was fleeing from Bolton’s bolts.

I was hoping that the
‘I don’t bend the knee’-theory proved right (look it up).
Alas it didn’t.
But then again; the kid was going to die no matter what. So hiding behind one of those burning crucifixes would only result in the writers having to come up with some kind of secondary assassin plot. No, the show kept it simple. I still hate to see him go, but heck, that’s Game of Thrones for you.

Poor Lancel – You’ve been around far too long.
As I’m writing this I suddenly realized that Lancel has been around since the very first season, yet nobody ever talks about him (or the actor playing him Eugene Simon). So here it is. This is a guy responsible for several mayor plot developments (the death of King Robert and the High Sparrows ascension) yet always remained in the background. In the final episode he got his moment to shine (in green vapor wildfire).

Grand Maester Pycelle – talk about being around too long.
As a nitpick I have to repeat that I really wanted to see Pycelle break his façade when the end came. I mean, he did a bit by hitting a kid in the face but still. Anyway, this was a character that had to be cleared from the board. And to die on orders of his replacement is sweet irony.

Mace, Margaery and Loras – oh dear.
I could really see Margaery wrap another king around her little finger. And by the looks of it she was definitely planning it. But, like the ending to Sean Penn’s the pledge her plan got interrupted and she paid with her life. It’s sad to see her go. But, again, pieces on the board have to be removed. Plus we now have Granny (Weatherwax) Tyrell in wrath-modus.

Which brings me to Dorne. As I wrote before the season five Dorne storyline wasn’t very good. And season six quickly fixed the mistakes in the very first episode. And, in a stroke of brilliance, -to contain the fallout- didn’t return to Dorne until the last episode. Perfect. Now we’ve got the sandsnakes together with a prickly rose and a spider. They are suddenly interesting again.

The high Sparrow, the blackfish and many, many others.
The high Sparrow finally died. That was to be expected. And I will most definitely miss him. I‘ve always enjoyed Jonathan Price in all his performances and his High Sparrow didn’t disappoint.

One big cheer by the way for Ian McShane
one of the few actors working today who can
just as easily take on the role of villain
as a friendly giant.
I did have some problems with the death of the Blackfish though. Off-screen? For such a great fighter? Not even a shot of him charging into certain death? All the little voices inside my mind are screaming denial. Especially since there was one guy left for dead who returned this season: the Hound.
I truly enjoyed his bargaining with the men with without banners whether or not he was allowed to torture his victims a bit first.
Great to have you back bloke now prepare because you have to fight your zombie-brother.

Which brings me automatically to the survivors. Who survived to play another day?

Robin - the ultimate survivor.
I’m actually starting to believe that mad-as-a-hatter Robin Arryn is going to survive everything. Heck, my fan fiction brain is already marrying him to Lyanna Mormont from Bear Island. She could definitely handle him because she gets stuff done! The bird and the bear.
Anyway it would make a far stronger bond between the Stark loyalists and the Arryns than Littlefinger’s (cold) heart.

Melisandre – lucky witch.
She’s never going to survive to the end. There must be some karma left in the world. So I was a bit surprised that she actually got away with a simple banishment for murdering Shireen (awesome to see Davos lose his cool like that – great actor).

I always liked Sam and Gilly...I can't help it.
Next to Hodor they are the sweetest couple in the whole of Westeros.
So him giving the finger to his father was a joyous moment for me.
But maybe I should have known. Dutch actors have this strange tendency to survive American productions. I mean in Dutch productions they die all the time. But in American productions for some reason they tend to stay alive. For example: Jeroen Krabbé, to this day, played the only Bond-villain to survive in the living daylights. And Rutger Hauer hardly ever dies on screen (and when he does he gives a legendary speech).
So it was very reassuring for me to see the two Dutch actors on Game of thrones: Carice van Houten en Michiel Huisman survive all the bloodshed. My theory is still intact. And besides, Game of thrones doesn’t have to kill everybody.

Sansa – don’t mess with me - Stark.
Finally Sansa has gotten her revenge. Plus she even managed to put her diplomatic skills to good use. She knows perfectly well that Littlefingers isn’t to be trusted (that look on Littlefinger’s face when the new king in the north was elected). But as the phrase goes: ‘…keep your enemies closer’. At least it’s great that Littlefinger came all out with his motives (too bad that he now has another king to topple).

However, with the Spider arriving next season I don’t see a happy ending for Littlefinger in the immediate future. I’m not much of a poker player but by the looks of it the spider has a queen and three aces and Littlefinger three jacks and a king.

Arya – what's her face? - Stark.
As Sansa fed Ramsay Bolton to his own dogs I found myself thinking how dear Arya was going to top this. An episode later I knew: by feeding Lord Walder Frey his own sons for dinner.Yuck!


Bran is massively wise and powerful now.
That’s good. But I still feel for dear Meera.
She has to carry him through the snow, all over the wall and whatnot.
I do hope there is some reward for her at the end of the hardship.
Now, Arya's fight scene on the streets of Bravos was cool; no question. Though I did wonder a bit about her stab wound. I guess that faceless assassin was rubbish at her job (I loved her perpetual smirk though).
But I eventhough it ended with her leaving the house of black and white. In the last episode she apparently kept her face changing ability. I know Game of thrones is high fantasy but I can’t help myself and remember J.K. Rowling’s advice when she spoke about magic:
The first thing you have to do is set the boundaries.

Anyway, with Arya at the Twins and Bran near the Wall a Stark family reunion next season is highly likely (and about time).

Jon – the second king of the north - Stark.
Which brings me, finally, to Jon. Now according to Bran’s vision he is born from Lyanna Stark’s and Rhaegar Targaryen. So, if I’m correct, that would make him Sansa’s and Arya’s direct cousin (sorry shippers) and Dany’s nephew. Who will he marry in the end? We’ll find out when we get there.

At least, the way things look now the next season is going to be quite the battle between the Lannisters on the one hand and the Starks, Greyjoy and Targaryen on the other (oh and the Martells and Tyrells).
Hopefully, by then, Gendry has finished his rowing trip; Arya en Bran gotten their butts back to Winterfell; And the Nightking gives the living time to sort things out before he attacks in full force.
I can hardly wait.

Independence Day: Resurgence - a review.

Resurgence: rising or tending to rise again; reviving; renascent. (so you won't have to look it up).
 
Emmerich’s movies are often the kind of ‘leave your brain at the door’-popcorn entertainment that, to me, radiate passion and childish glee. So -having now told you my view on Emmerich’s disaster-movies; what did I think about Independence Day part 2: resurgence? In a sentence: harmless fun while the world collapses (again).

The story is simplicity itself: twenty years after the human race won the fight against the evil invading aliens a bigger badder spacecraft arrives intent to destroy the world all together.  But we humans have prepared for this possibility. Using the discovered alien technology we are ready to fight back on the same level. Or are we?

Basically you, the viewer, want two things when you sit down in the theater seat for this movie: massive destruction and characters to care for. That’s all! And Independence Day: resurgence delivers beautifully. There are one or two big action sequences with collapsing buildings and whatnot and more than enough (humorous) likable characters to care for.

Destroying the world bit by bit.
Now, it seems that Emmerich wisely realized that we are currently living in a movie-era where the world gets destroyed on a yearly summer-blockbuster basis. Superman, X-men, Hulk whenever those blokes show up housing prices plummet.

So, it feels that, in Independence Day: resurgence it was decided not to focus too much on the mayhem, but rather on the adventure element and the humor. Which is especially clear when the White House is left standing.
It’s like the movie tells us that: Yes I’ll give you destruction but, let’s be honest, you’ve seen it a million times before so let me also give you some adventure and humor.

Yes, London and all its landmarks gets destroyed (talk about a Brexit!? –sorry, I had to) and that’s about it. And that’s fine because the destruction we do get to see looks as great as you can expect from the master of destruction: Emmerich.

The end of the world is hilarious.
The original Independence Day was always a bit too dark for its own good which made the over the top ‘America is no1!’-attitude a bit unbearable at times.

The best example of this is the scene directly after Randy Quaid sacrifices himself. A general tells the dead-guy’s son that ‘he must be proud about his father’. And the boy replies ‘I am’! Cringe-worthy.

Now, twenty years later Emmerich has found his stride with the excellent White house down wherein he managed to find a balance between patriotism and parody. And his movies have become quite adept at cracking jokes. Goldblum, Hemsworth and, of course, Hirsch are all comfortable playing their parts knowing full well that this movie isn’t as serious as it could be.

A smart move with Alien Tech.
One thing I didn’t expect was the clever move this film makes by creating an alternative timeline in which the world has used the alien technology to their advantage. Immediately we don’t have to be bothered about antique laptop compatibility (I had to mention this one didn’t I). Which is great because it give the movie just enough fantasy to not have the audience question everything. The previously mentioned leave-your-brain-at-the-door.

But not perfect.
Now, are there any nitpicks? Of course there are. Independence Day: resurgence didn’t blow me away as the first movie did. I’ve seen the world being destroyed numerous times now-I’ve grown accustomed to it -which makes this film a bit forgettable.
But it is definitely a welcome adventure ride, just not very impressive.

The biggest nitpick would be that there are far too many characters in this movie. Now, they all work and each and every one of them is charming. But they do overcrowd the movie a bit. For instance, Joey King’s character and her siblings who appear only to be written in to give
Judd Hirsch something to do. Great to have him back and everything (he hasn’t aged a day) but basically his whole storyline was rather useless- More a fanservice than anything involving the plot.
The same goes for Bill Pullman (who has aged quite a bit): he’s there, he’s gone.

Now is all of this terrible? No of course not. Independence day: resurgence isn’t a classic like its predecessor but it is in no way a bad picture. It knows what it is: It’s simple, adventurous, traditional entertainment with a copious amount of humor.

You want to see humans battle aliens? Go see ID4-R!

Don’t be naughty Lucille - Why people shouldn’t worry too much about the Walking Dead season 6 finale.

I always wanted to write one of these ‘I’m-right-you-are-wrong-and-when-you-prove-me-differently-I’ll-just-put-my-fingers-in-my-ears-while-stamping-around-singing:-“I’m-not-listening!”’. In short I’m going to be a bit elitist (or patriarch as the Internet would call it – I suddenly sound like my grandpa telling me he’s still: ‘hip’).

I want to talk a bit about why this cliffhanger of Negan’s killing blow at the end of the walking dead’s last season was to be expected and why you shouldn’t feel too bad about it. And I’m going to make my case by writing a bit about the walking dead in general. Putting it all into perspective as it were.

So what’s the situation: The villain Negan, after a lengthy speech in which he announces that he’s going to kill somebody, kills somebody. But the audience doesn’t get to see who.

Now, apart from the fact that I already knew this would happen several weeks in advance (thank you spoiling internet) there are two ways of looking at this scene.
From the dramatic/storytelling perspective that states this is the way the story of this season went. So from Rick becoming the ultimate leader of the Alexandrians to his downfall at the hands of Negan.
This is the story the showrunners have told the media. So next season, by showing the corpse, the one who died, the story of vengeance and Rick dealing with his ultimate foe can begin.

The other way of looking at this finale is from a more businesslike approach. What do the showrunners of the walking dead want? Simply to be able to continue their show. So how to do that? By using a cliffhanger to make sure people will tune in in six months time.  Moreover, making the casualty a mystery gives people a ‘good ol’ guessing game to toy around with.
Anyway, I argue that it was this businesslike approach that won it from the dramatic approach because, to be completely honest, The walking dead has never been the best dramatic show on television. It’s been the first true zombie show, which is a feat to be reckoned with. But basically It’s a soap opera with zombies and that’s (exactly) why it is so addictive.
But for years it has suffered from sloppy writing, too tight a budget for too many episodes and
unkillable characters. Let me explain:

1. Sloppy writing 

1.1 Weekly zombies.
Sloppy writing is an easy one. It’s a zombie show so per episode you’ll need two things: Living people and not-so-living-zombie-thingies. And preferably those two are in the same room together.
Now, If it’d be the real zombie apocalypse half of the American population wouldn’t leave their house (the other half would probably shack up in the playboy mansion). So -like season two of Lost- the show’s writers are constantly  tasked with finding new ways to get people out of the save environment of (e.g.) Alexandria into a zombie mess.
So that’s why Lori crashes her car on an empty road. That’s why Dale decides to go out walking for no reason. And –I honestly believe- the writes were thanking God on a daily basis for child-Carl and his inability to stay inside the house. More on him later.

Anyway, the point is, there are numerous eye-rolling examples in the show that are just there to make the quota of weekly zombie attacks. But what would have been the alternative? What if the show followed reality with (*shudder*) logical motivations? What would we’ve been watching? A zombie show without any zombie attack for weeks on end!

1.2 It’s no Shakespeare
But, of course, there are other elements of sloppy writing. It’s the walking dead. This is a show that has found the perfect formula to show televised gore on a weekly basis. You don’t expect Shakespearian-like monologues. No, in the walking dead “Alas poor Yorich I knew him Horatio” equals “Grmff, things and stuff.”. Desdemona’s handkerchief –in this sense- is a trampled chess piece (with an eye-patch to drive the point home, no less).
There is no real sense of subtlety and that’s fine, it’s entertainment.  And still, as I wrote in an earlier article, the show still manages to ‘get the audience to think’ about bigger themes. One of which is:

1.3 The fantasy aspect.
Thankfully the show is based on a comic book series  so a lot of story elements are already there. And those elements that didn’t really work in the book can be fixed in the TV-version. Having this ‘adaptive constraint’ works miracles because, if you think about it logically, everybody in this show should be practicing archery by now. There would probably even be a lively arrow production line going on in Alexandria

None of this is happening and that’s one of the charms of the show.
Because, lest remember, it is fun to fantasize about what you would do in a zombie apocalypse. The walking dead explores ideas and techniques on a snail’s pace fuelling the viewer’s imagination a breadcrumb at a time.

Talking about Zombie-fantasy: I for one would pleasantly place myself in a medieval castle. Now, according to the book World War Z that’s one of the worst places to be, but I don’t care. If I have to go out I’m definitely going out swinging a morning star and a broadsword.

2. Unkillable characters 

2.1 ‘Kill him/her and we riot’
The walking dead, however, does have one big problem concerning characters because some become unkillable. This is the soap element that bugs me. Not all the time, mind you, but sometimes. You see, when you have a TV-show you need to give the characters something to develop to. So Carol changed from a caring mother submissive to her abusive husband to the one-woman army we know and love today. But what to do with her character now? There’s nothing left for her to develop to. She is as strong as she could possible get. So the show decides to make her weaker once more (and, as such, hopefully more human).

You can do this once, you can do this twice, but after that it becomes ‘soapy’. Thankfully, though, the walking dead has a perfect solution for this. It is called a little thing called: death.
Like Shakespeare you simply kill off the character once he or she reached their full potential. But here lies the little problem. Carol –for instance- is far too loved by the fans to kill her. So is Daryl. So killing this character could result in people giving up on the show.

Now, to be honest, I don’t really believe this but it is a reasonable argument not to kill her. So we’ll just have to live with a whole lot of soapyness in the future.

2.2 ‘Not him you racist!’
Then there’s the –what I’d like to call- the ‘political correctness’ backlash. So when the show killed Denise Cloyd a few episodes ago a part of the internet voiced their protest by pointing out that a substantial lot of lesbian characters got killed in various shows over the years.
This could very well be true. However I –for one- never made the conscious connection here.

I did notice, however, that –during the third season of the walking dead-, for a short time, whenever a new African-American character appeared another African-American character would die in the very same episode. The point is: you can ‘read’ some discriminative currents in any show if you go looking. And the question is whether a show should listen to this backlash and stay political correct or not.

To side-track a bit, I suspect that one of the (many) reasons why the last season of Lost failed was because Sun and Jin (two Asian characters) were kept alive for far too long (including a silly ‘lost-my-voice’ sub-plot). Their character’s arch was complete. Keeping them alive (just to stay correct) just muddled the plot. 

But, who knows, if the walking dead goes on long enough eventually they will have killed all age, color or creed.

2.3 ‘The Carl problem’
To start this one off with a fun little quote I once read somewhere: 

“Season 2 Carl was hated.
Season 3 Carl is alpha as fuck, preserving the Ricktator Rickgime. Once Carl impregnates Beth, they may very well have a Grymnasty (Dynasty) on their hands.”

There’s an important point to take from this. The character Carl (still alive in the comics) is vital to the plot of the walking dead. So the show can’t kill him. Now, if the actor is bad they might be able to change the child actor. But the acting was fine. It was the writing that wasn’t up to scratch. So the show had a huge problem. All kind of people and websites ‘hating’ on that character and no way for you (the showrunners) to use the previously mentioned ‘handy tool called death’ to erase the problem. Thankfully they found a better solution: they fixed the character.

Moreover, the movie Mercy, came in between. I honestly believe that this movie made Chandler Riggs a better actor. I remember myself realizing -somewhere between the Walking Dead season 2 and 3- that this kid could suddenly act a bit better. Did he take classes or something? Later I learned he probably did this movie during that time.
But, again, his acting was never the problem; his character was.

3. Budget cuts. 

3.1 ‘How many episodes?’
One big hurdle, however, for the walking dead is the sixteen episode run for a tremendously expensive show. Zombie make-up and wasteland sets don’t come cheap. So there’s a balance needed. More episodes means more revenue for the station. But more episodes also means more screen time to fill on a limited budget. And, unfortunately, you can see the stretching in the series.  Every season of the walking dead has about five episodes that could easily be merged into one. Again this is a sacrifice we –the viewers- have to accept.

3.2 Two seasons without a new show runner…wow!
To sidetrack a bit with a short history lesson: The first showrunner, as some might remember, was Frank Darabont. Whilst he was planning season two of the walking dead AMC cut the budget in half (because their –then- most popular show Mad Men also required a lot of money). Moreover, they told Darabont that the entire run of the season would take place at the farm (the original intention was three or four episodes, like the amount of comic books set on the farm). These are two of the main reasons why the original Darabont and AMC had a falling out.

After the abysmal second season (with the Sophia reveal as the only memorable highlight. Oh, and Hershel’s infinite ammo shotgun) the replacing showrunner was replaced. And then, next season, again a replacement. It took years before the walking dead found its footing once again. Around season five they finally did and it shows. But that does not mean that the budget balance had gone away.

Now that the walking dead is the most watched show of the United States there is more money available but still this balance exists. Now I’m sure that one day the walking dead will figure this balance out (fewer episodes = more expensive stuff to show). But not anytime soon. So accepting this makes watching it a whole of a lot easier.

Conclusion
So knowing this. Let’s return to the finale. “Who has died?”.
So we got a show that isn’t the best written piece of fiction ever to grace the screen. A show that is forced to be political correct. A show that can’t kill every character it wants. And, above all, a show that is desperately reliant on revenue in hope of getting a (better) budget next year.
Not to mention TV-contracts and other issues I won’t bother you with here. Is it really that surprising that they didn’t show you who died?
It’s a sure way to get people to watch again in six months. It’s a sure way of using the online backlash to see who bites the cyanide capsule. Is it really that surprising that they did this cliffhanger? ‘Course not. But it is a tad annoying.